Tuesday, August 19, 2008

RETRO 04.12.2004

Sorry guys... I'm an admitted disorganized person... so the entries that I'm posting won't be in any particular order. Ideally, I'd like to start from the beginning, but I wrote all these things in random notebooks that are spread out all over my room!

Well, anyway, this might be the closest thing to the beginning. I found a journal entry of when I was first diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. What I write about colitis before I found out the Specific Carbohydrate diet will be negative... because the illness physically and emotionally draining... so of course even I would be cranky. lol

This was also at a time when I didn't really understand what was going on with me, so the information might not be accurate. I was only getting information from what a doctor said or some random nurse said or whatever anyone told me at the time. I've had this illness for almost 5 years!!! I think I'm doing ok now. Yay!
(Originally written 4 years ago - April 12, 2004)
Man... I feel so exhausted today. I think I had a nervous breakdown of some sort. I have been very stressed out lately. I am frustrated with everything too. I just really need a job. A real job right now. I feel like I'm trying my hardest too but with no results...

Anyway, I have a lost sense of time. All of the stress has gotten me very sick. I ended up being admitted to the hospital. Once to the emergency room because I've had stomach pains and diarrhea for more than a week. A few days later, I had to stay at the hospital because they found that I have a serious illness called ulcerative colitis. In Lamen's terms, it means that I have cuts in the latter part of my large intestines giving me a "swollen colon". This condition is recurring and I might have to take pills for the rest of my life.

Seriously, I don't ever want to be in a hospital ever again. I hate the smell. And its so lonely. They were feeding me intravenously through an IV. It really was a struggle to wheel that thing to the bathroom [because it was attached to me]. Especially if one has diarrhea.

Things are almost back to normal. I went to work for the first time in almost 3 weeks. Work is still awful. I really don't belong there. I also need insurance... badly. The cost of my hospital stay was more than $50,000. I was so lucky I was cleared with Charity Care to pay for the bill.

I know getting a real job will be a huge weight off my shoulders. I would finally be able to breathe and feel like I can start to live.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This time I am strict

Hey guys, when I wrote this, I was beginning the diet. It was really hard to resist temptation in the beginning. But being strict really pays off!! Good luck everyone!
(Originally written 3 years ago - Jul 27, 2005)
Other than the Gatorade to replace electrolytes from my dehydration, I haven’t cheated once! NOT ONCE ha! Its not even worth it. I don’t even miss regular food. Ok, I lied. I really miss pizza. Ahhhh!

This time around my family is taking an active part in learning more about my diet. They’ve been helping me cook and when they see me too tired to do anything, they cook for me to make sure I have food. I love life.

Looking at pictures of food that I’m not allowed to have is like getting caught looking at porn. That’s just sad.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Fern Pixel's Blog!!

Hey Everyone!

I decided to open up a blog to go along with my videos. Its a lot easier for me to give updates than to make and edit videos. Don't worry, I'll still make videos hahaha. I actually have footage for 3 more videos... just need to find time to edit them. Eep!

I just got a new job recently that's keeping me super busy...

I'll try my best to give updates! :)
Excerpts from my journal will be posted every Wednesday (which is also comic book day!!). These are entries that I wrote after a flare-up and starting the Specific Carbohydrate diet for a second time. I messed up the first time I tried because I didn't take it seriously. I didn't know it back then, but the second time around was the beginning of my recovery and now I am in remission. I know I make it look easy... because I seem to be smiling a lot... but its not easy. I just try to be optimistic about everything. Colitis made my life difficult. I don't want to make it harder than it already is, so I smile and hope for the best.

bye bye!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Road to Recovery

(originally written 3 years ago - Jul 22, 2005)

Currently, I am in recovery from a very recent flare-up which I believe to be a near-death experience. How strange to have a life-changing landmark at such a young age! Sometimes I find it unfair… but at least my eyes were opened fairly early in my life rather than too late. Or course, never say never. As the old saying goes, “Its never too late”.

Unfortunately there is no cure for Ulcerative Colitis, so I can only hope to stay in remission for the rest of my life and learn how to manage my life around this obstacle.

How do I plan to do this? Well, there are a few things.

1. I’ve been on a diet called The Specific Carbohydrate Diet for quite some time (SCD for short). This diet is supposedly a natural way to stay in remission through intestinal diet. It is not recognized in the medical community. In fact, its frowned upon by most doctors because they only want to treat this through prescription drugs. But some researchers believe in the diet. And it seems to work for most. Besides, the doctors aren’t the ones agonizing over the next bout of explosive diarrhea. I need to really stick to the diet this time. I will go slow and more importantly… TRY NOT TO CHEAT! Its really not worth another flare-up. Though, sometimes flare-ups are just beyond anyone’s control. Sometimes they just happen.

2. Pills. Don’t forget to take medication and take them ON TIME. The last time I kept forgetting, and then started tapering because I felt fine and I didn’t want to be too much medication. That may have contributed to my DOOM.

3. Learn how to relax! I’ve finally come to terms with myself and I finally know the difference between being stubborn and knowing when to quit. Too bad it took this flare up to open my eyes to this! Sheesh.

4. Research. The more you know, the closer you are to an answer.

5. Exercise. Being in good shape is also a way to manage stress. It also leads to a healthy lifestyle and a rawkin body! Yes!

6. See a nutritionist. I don’t really want to. But I’m open to anything out there. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll stick to the diet unless I find something else.

I’ve tried the herbal remedy voodoo… That didn’t seem to work out at all. I wish it worked for me, because at least I would’ve been able to eat what I want and manage the illness through supplements. Woe is me. In this case, it means I won’t be able to eat regular pizza ever again. I’d have to make it all myself unless someone finds a cure. In the mean time, I will use the SCD diet and cook up my own goodies. My parents are looking into getting me an ice cream maker!

I am always looking for new treatments or new findings on Ulcerative Colitis.

Gambatte Kudasai!

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