Tuesday, August 19, 2008

RETRO 04.12.2004

Sorry guys... I'm an admitted disorganized person... so the entries that I'm posting won't be in any particular order. Ideally, I'd like to start from the beginning, but I wrote all these things in random notebooks that are spread out all over my room!

Well, anyway, this might be the closest thing to the beginning. I found a journal entry of when I was first diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. What I write about colitis before I found out the Specific Carbohydrate diet will be negative... because the illness physically and emotionally draining... so of course even I would be cranky. lol

This was also at a time when I didn't really understand what was going on with me, so the information might not be accurate. I was only getting information from what a doctor said or some random nurse said or whatever anyone told me at the time. I've had this illness for almost 5 years!!! I think I'm doing ok now. Yay!
(Originally written 4 years ago - April 12, 2004)
Man... I feel so exhausted today. I think I had a nervous breakdown of some sort. I have been very stressed out lately. I am frustrated with everything too. I just really need a job. A real job right now. I feel like I'm trying my hardest too but with no results...

Anyway, I have a lost sense of time. All of the stress has gotten me very sick. I ended up being admitted to the hospital. Once to the emergency room because I've had stomach pains and diarrhea for more than a week. A few days later, I had to stay at the hospital because they found that I have a serious illness called ulcerative colitis. In Lamen's terms, it means that I have cuts in the latter part of my large intestines giving me a "swollen colon". This condition is recurring and I might have to take pills for the rest of my life.

Seriously, I don't ever want to be in a hospital ever again. I hate the smell. And its so lonely. They were feeding me intravenously through an IV. It really was a struggle to wheel that thing to the bathroom [because it was attached to me]. Especially if one has diarrhea.

Things are almost back to normal. I went to work for the first time in almost 3 weeks. Work is still awful. I really don't belong there. I also need insurance... badly. The cost of my hospital stay was more than $50,000. I was so lucky I was cleared with Charity Care to pay for the bill.

I know getting a real job will be a huge weight off my shoulders. I would finally be able to breathe and feel like I can start to live.


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