Chef Fernpixel

Hi All!

Its been a great week for cooking, however a bad week for my health. I have been on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet (SCD) for 4 years now. I was 100% on the SCDiet when I first started. But now that I have been getting better, long after most of my symptoms disappeared I started introducing a few "illegal foods" into my diet. Right now, I would have to say I follow the diet only about 85% - 90% of the time. To get the general idea of what is allowed and not allowed on the diet, I found a short list here, as compiled by Happy Tummy". A detailed list can be found by Elaine Gottschall, the matriarch of the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, on the Breaking the Vicious Cycle website.

I tolerate "illegal foods" when eaten sparingly... such as buffalo wings here and there, or maybe bottled salad dressing when I should have been eating plain oil and vinegar instead. I have to admit, I have been over doing it. The summer has been great and I've been hanging out with my friends a lot. But the trouble with illegal foods usually starts when we go out to eat. It is difficult to eat and be strict on my diet when I'm away from home. So here we are in the first month of Autumn and my digestive system has waged maximum carnage against me.

When I start noticing recurring symptoms, I back off, and go back to what is called the Intro Diet version of the SCDiet. It is hard to break temptation and its boring to eat, but I cannot stress it enough, IT HAS TO BE DONE if I want to get better. It has been a week since I started over and I am already starting to feel amazing. I am reintroducing the more interesting SCD foods this week and having a lot of fun in the kitchen.

Here is what I have been eating (All SCD legal foods that I made myself):

Chicken Soup
Cheesecake
Pizza with extra cheese
Cinnamon Applesauce
Strawberry Mousse
24-hour Yogurt
Lime-infused Basil Chicken

I have been on this diet for so long and at times I still struggle with it. Its not easy but I make it fun. I have learned to love cooking and experimenting with SCD recipes.

In order to be successful on this diet, you have to be persistent, and if you get bored with your food, surprise yourself and try a new SCD recipe.

Tonight I experimented with the Strawberry Mousse for the first time. Its in the fridge and waiting for me to eat it tomorrow when its set. I normally wouldn't have prepared this because I absolutely HATE whipping egg whites into stiff peaks. [Tip: If you ever need to take out your frustration or aggression, just whip up some egg whites by hand. I guarantee that you will not feel upset anymore. You will feel tired and forget about whatever it was that made you mad.] As I mentioned before, I needed to surprise myself so I won't be inclined to cheat on my diet again. Tonight I'll be dreaming of my fluffy strawberry mousse! And what a triumph to have made it all by myself! I feel pretty amazing!

I hope all of you are doing ok too. Make it a point to eat healthy and have fun in the kitchen!

The RETRO archives

Hey everyone!

I'm so sorry I didn't post a RETRO archive yesterday. To tell you the truth, I was being a couch potato and didn't even realize it was Wednesday. I was watching a crummy movie too. Anyway, I was looking for a RETRO entry to share tonight and I couldn't find one after December 2005. I have been writing a lot about my Ulcerative Colitis journey since April 2004 and it suddenly stops during the winter of 2005. From what I remember, there was a big change going on in my life.

I am a huge believer in second chances and I always look forward to January because of New Year's resolutions. Its kind of a rebirth for me - a time to start over. I have been so sick and miserable in 2005, that I decided to lighten up and focus on the good things in my life. This happens to me periodically and I ignore the negativity. Which is good, but this also means that a piece of my life is missing because I didn't write it down. I start writing about colitis later on, but its much later.

For anyone who is just tuning into my blog, I have all of my retro blog entries starting from my diagnosis in 2004.
If you'd like to catch up on reading, please click right here. And you'll find all the retro entries on there. I tried my best to put them in chronological order. It starts with the most recent retro entry first, but there might be a few that are mixed up.

I've decided to put the RETRO entries on hold for the time being so I can reorganize my archives and post them on a regular basis again.

So what happens now that the retro entries are on hold? Well, I'll keep you updated on what's going on right now. Hopefully I'll be just as interesting. haha! :)

BLOG SPOTLIGHT
Also, you guys should check out Arden! She's a fellow Ulcerative Colitis patient who is also on the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. She's a pretty cool chickadee, so check out her blog if you get a chance.



Arden's Blog: Arden Eats

CCFA

Hey everyone!

I recently started getting involved with the Crohn's & Colitis Foundation of America (CCFA). They're a non profit organization. They seem genuinely focused on finding a cure for all things IBS.

Check out their website at: www.ccfa.org. They have tons of information about their research, events, and community outreach programs. The BEST part is that most of the people involved either have IBS or know someone that does. This tells me that that they work that they do comes straight from the heart. (Ah! I know... I couldn't say it any other way without sounding CORNY!)

But seriously, if you guys live in the USA, its worth checking out. If you live outside of the USA, search the internet for something similar. I heard that Canada has their own non profit organization for Crohn's & Colitis, so there may be others available.

RETRO 5.21.2004

Hey Dudes, I found a very early RETRO entry from back when I was first diagnosed. This is a few weeks after having to stay at the hospital for the first time. I stayed for eight days and I did not have insurance. The bills started coming in the mail and I had a follow up appointment at my doctor's office. I was able to pay for it with something called Charity Care and with my parents help, but it still was a struggle. I didn't handle it well... I freaked out because I had no money and I was too sick to work.

(This was originally written on 2004. And I can tell that it was written by a much younger [and annoying] version of myself. Yikes! I'm such a cry baby!)

Got back from the doctor... Man... having no insurance really is a dent on the wallet.... They let me off easy by taking $20 off the co-pay the last two times but refused it this time.

The secretaries were nasty bitches and they made me cry. I cried and cried and cried. And then I cried and cried and cried to the doctor. I managed to have my bill lowered almost 50%. I feel like shit for doing so... but seriously... If I can cry my way out of a bill... I'll do it because these are really too much.. For example. WITHOUT insurance: 1 bottle of medication comes out to $200 dollars already. The hospital bill? I could've owned a luxury car by now... And this is money I don't have. I need to find a real job... and fast. Bleah... it seems I am better off dead than to be drowning in all these bills. I wish I never had gotten sick.

I didn't write this down, but I remember that day pretty clearly. I was very emotional because after my appointment, the doctors and secretaries were being very nasty because they realized I didn't have insurance. They were unwilling to help me any further. I was frustrated, angry, and immature. When I was escorted back to the lobby, I trashed the place by throwing the pamphlets and displays all over the place, messed up the chairs, spat on the carpet, and slammed the door as I left. I wouldn't normally do something like that, but I was a different person considering all of the circumstances: I had prednisone pumping through my veins, sleep deprived, starved, weak, and broke. I was a bomb ready to explode. I'm embarrassed to admit that this happened. Coming to terms with this disease is not easy. Remember, at this time there is no cure and no known origin so there will be a lot of frustration. There will be times when you reach that dark place and unpredictable things can happen.

If I could go back in time, I would warn myself. I would tell myself to count to 10, then breathe and relax. Find solutions and ask questions instead of acting out in rage. Live and learn. Stay optimistic.

RETRO 12.24.2005

Originally written on 12.24.2005

I don't know why I can't be happy. I feel so empty inside. With my poor health I'm relying more and more on the assets that I still have. I mean, I'm not ugly and I would hope to say that I'm fairly attractive. This is probably making me sound like a vain person. But really, I don't have much else to hold on to. As every day passes. I feel like I don't have as much talent as I thought I did.

I really should stop comparing myself to the success of others, but if I did have talent, wouldn't I have been rewarded by now? Really, what does it take? Money won't buy me happiness. I just need a certain amount of success to make me happy.

Big Cook-off!

I like to set aside one big cooking day and eat leftovers for 3-4 days. Its too tiring to be cooking nearly everyday. Tonight was one of those occasions.

All of these are Specific Carbohydrate Diet foods.
Here's what I made today:

-Roasted tomatoes with Tuna-Melt Filling
-SCD pizza
-Zucchini Lasagna
-Peanut Butter and Banana Brownies
-Tomato and Basil Salad

Most of my dishes have tomatoes because we've been gardening all summer and its almost peak time for tomatoes! These tomatoes are amazing this year! So sweet and juicy!

RETRO 12.15.2005

Geez... its Wednesday already? Where did the time go?

_______________________________________

Originally written on 12.15.2005

I wonder when or if I'll ever meet with success. Its December now. Its been quite a year. It started off great but who would ever thought that it would end up like this. Maybe this is only the beginning. Maybe this is part of the journey. Maybe this is an important stepping stone for me to be creative. The summer was so unusual. 2005 was the summer of prescription drugs. I can't even believe I was loaded with five or more types of prescription drugs. Maybe I've gone crazy but at the time I felt like I knew everything. I had no control and my mind just wouldn't stop moving. I had trouble seeing because my eyes were rolling around on their own. I felt drunk all the time and it wasn't from alcohol. It was the prednisone. And when I wasn't feeling drunk, I was probably going through withdrawal or dehydration. People see so much potential in me. How come I can't see it? How come I'm not successful now?

I was going through my journal about a year ago and its the same shit. If I got back another year its probably the same again. When will things change? If it continues this way I have nothing to look forward to if everything is the same.

In the past month or more my hair started falling out again. It started in August. After the wedding I attended in October I cut it really short to save my hair. I look like a boy and I'm horribly embarrassed about it. I also hate having to explain it. Its depressing. I don't want to remember. Looking at myself keeps me in the same place. I can't move forward.

The difference between me and the next person is that I do everything alone. Maybe if I were to team up with someone or if there was someone willing to help. Have I been unapproachable all these years? Is this how everyone sees me? Looking back at my old journals, I don't really have any dependable family or friends. No one is supporting me. They're just watching me from the sidelines and maybe expecting me to fail. Or maybe they don't know how to help. Everything is maybe. It sucks.

Somehow I feel that if I moved out, things would be different. I would be granted a certain freedom and without the constant nagging from everyone. My mind might have been clear and I'll be able to work. But I can't do that now... its not realistic. There's no way to maintain an apartment without a job and I'll have to find a roommate. This is impossible without any friends...