Wednesday, September 9, 2009

RETRO 12.24.2005

Originally written on 12.24.2005

I don't know why I can't be happy. I feel so empty inside. With my poor health I'm relying more and more on the assets that I still have. I mean, I'm not ugly and I would hope to say that I'm fairly attractive. This is probably making me sound like a vain person. But really, I don't have much else to hold on to. As every day passes. I feel like I don't have as much talent as I thought I did.

I really should stop comparing myself to the success of others, but if I did have talent, wouldn't I have been rewarded by now? Really, what does it take? Money won't buy me happiness. I just need a certain amount of success to make me happy.


Gypsy with a Camera said...

My sister and I had this conversation the other day about people we know getting rewarded with success and wondering what we were not doing.

fernpixel said...

I wish I knew also... I'm still working on it even today.

Along the way I learned a few things:

1) Complaining doesn't solve anything.
2) Comparing yourself to others doesn't make sense. Everyone has to work at their own pace and eventually your time will come if you want it badly enough.
3) Celebrate your accomplishments even if they are small.
4) Nothing comes easy so nothing can ever replace hard work.
5) Keep things simple.


feathered fish said...

ooh!oooh! can i complain? I want my biopsy results already! C'mon NHS! You've had them for 2months now! I'm sure they're normal and all, but given you ripped out little bits of my gut, i feel i deserve to know what they were like (yes, I know, and i will go ask about it tomorrow, but wanted to get some complaining in just because). and if it's the small things, i have to say i'm super impressed with your ability to swallow that colonoscopy prep stuff. i FAIL at that (though i did manage to take it all...just not fast enough).

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